It seems that no one wants to be a child, least of all, children. If you’ve raised children, you have experienced their need to be “big”. They long to become independent and do things by themselves. That is part of the normal process of growing up.

What I’m referring to is the way society has changed its view of children as being grown up in the sense that they can make their own decisions at an early age and know all about the adult world when they are still very young. Innocence, it seems, is lost at an early age.

Children as young as eight or nine make family decisions. They are consulted on whether or not they want to go and visit relatives. I remember going to my Grandmother’s house on Sunday afternoons as a regular ritual. I’m sure no one consulted me to see if I felt like going. At mass, I have seen the ushers ask a family if they would be willing to take up the gifts before communion and it is not rare that the parent turns to the children and asks if they want to do so. Is that really the child’s decision? Why don’t the parents see themselves as the spiritual leaders of the family and see it is an opportunity for their family to assist at the mass? I know a couple who have asked their daughter from the time she was six years old where she wanted to go on vacation. Their rationale is that they go on vacation for the child so she should have the say in where they go. Since the child has no idea about vacation days, travel arrangements, hotels, and cost, I’m pretty sure her decision shouldn’t carry any weight, but so it goes.

From twelve years old, many kids watch “R” rated movies. It is not uncommon. I have seen many examples where young teens know all the details about their parents’ financial problems, marital conflicts and arguments with neighbors and relatives. The parents are using these young people as a sounding board or even confidantes in personal situations.

Are our kids really ready for this? I don’t think there is anyone who has given this serious thought who would agree. I don’t propose to give anyone advice about raising children. I am no expert. I have made plenty of my own mistakes. I guess I am disheartened when I see young kids miss their childhood because they go straight from being a little kid to a teenager and think of themselves as adults.  First and second graders are “going out” with one another, sixth graders go on “double dates” with their parents and teenagers have boy/girl sleepovers. I’m not naïve to think the past was all rosy with no problems. But, I do think we need to go back to a place where we protected the innocence of childhood, taught them to become independent within the safety of the family unit and built their self-worth on their being a child of God. The world will latch on to our kids soon enough, it’s our job to build them up so they can cope and stay strong to resist the temptations and empty promises of the world.

Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Proverbs 6:20 My son, obey your father’s commands, and don’t neglect your mother’s teaching.

Ephesians 6:2 “Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth”